Saline Valley

October 2014

by
Victor Meier 

“Reinventing me has been easy enough,” I thought to myself, “I've done that plenty of times.” Though, I asked myself, “What makes this time different?” I've reinvented myself before. I’m down with personal growth. It’s a bit painful but doable and ultimately rewarding.

So, next I asked myself that night…under clear heavenly skies...naked…trippin’ balls while soaking with my brother and our new friends Gail, Dano, Gary and the infamous Miss Phyllis Cybin in a remote hot spring known as the “Wizard Tub”; under a luminescent blanket of stars and in the middle of fucking no-where...how do I fit into this great puzzle known as life and how can affect positive change in my life?

The journey into my current state of self awareness began months ago as I have realized that my poor behavior and intense personality oftentimes pushes people away. This is especially disheartening as I am a people person…a “Man of the People” if you will. I want more than anything to cultivate positive relationships yet often times find myself sabotaging my own desires for one reason or another…usually relating to ego, though.

I started to fall deeply into my own thoughts and criticisms somewhere between when cell phone service dropped and the true feeling of freedom began. I set my GPS with this destination in mind and no, the irony does not go without my notice. However, I turned it ALL OFF when we got to the road for Saline Valley and I did so gladly.

I live so much of my life connected to society and shackled by the constraints of the electronic handcuffs. I needed this escape and that is exactly what it was. I have no qualms against saying so. I needed to feel primal. I severed that technological umbilical cord keeping me connected to the “civilized” world for a few days with joyous exuberance.

Out there I found that many others are doing the same thing and it just feels so right; unless you’re one of the assholes who bring their satellite phones and such. I say so, not in personal judgment. Instead, I say this in a clinical evaluation; as more of a diagnosis than a judgment.

Heading into Saline Valley I found myself baptized in dust while my soul was being slowly cleansed over the seemingly endless miles of washboard. In light of this all, my mind ran blank. I wondered if this would be the experience that I was looking for; or if I had merely packed all my unwanted bagged and carried it along with me.

One finds him or herself enamored with this amazing landscape that somehow seems foreign and yet familiar at the same time. It’s like you’re on the set of a Star Trek Episode out there. Not one of the janky new ones…an original, over-acted sixties version of the show…one of those sets…yeah, just like that.

 The journey into Saline Valley is alliterated with breathtaking views of canyons that we narrowly traced lines through and punctuated by the terrain as our truck rambled over jagged rocks only feet away from steep drops and no guard rails.

With the nearest emergency services many miles away (not to mention not having the ability to contact help via cell phone); the experience felt harrowing. I suggest traveling with a CB (C-Band) Radio for emergency purposes. There can be some scattered and limited reception, just don’t plan on it.

You’re going to want to bring first aid kits, tire repair kits, plenty of potable water and a back up water filter just in case (among other necessities). On our way in my brother and I suffered a flat tire and though prepared, we weren't totally prepared as we did not have the right kind of jack to change our punctured front tire. Yes, a punctured off-road tire and punctured in the tread no less. This wasn't a terrible circumstance as, unlike a side wall puncture, we were able to patch it once we had changed to the spare tire.

It’s a good thing we also had a full sized spare tire. However, this is bad for General Tires. Those tires suck with a capital S. I can assure you that I have never experience any such familiar fate with my BF Goodrich All Terrain Tires. With their triple steal construction, BFGs are my heavily weighted suggestion for your off-road vehicle. However, a tire with at least a 10-Ply tread is heavily suggested.

So, we’re already miles-a-fucking-way from nowhere and we begin the difficult part of our journey to Saline Valley. As I mentioned before, one becomes cleansed by over fifty miles of sacred wash board road that the regulars call “The Fifty Mile Bullshit Filter”.

The regular jet fighter training missions being conducted throughout the week by the three various military bases in the general vicinity tend to spoil a small amount of the remote nature that the Saline Valley Warm Springs lay claim to.

I won’t be apologizing for blogging about Saline Valley either, even if that upsets some of the regulars who are under the misinformed notion that the hot springs maintain their once enjoyed status of secrecy. Perhaps the fact that the National Park Service does not include Saline Valley’s existence on its maps feeds this erroneous belief of secrecy.

The fact of the matter is that Saline Valley’s absence from park maps allows for the very existence of the man-made tubs and provides the loop hole that the “Grandfathered” rules enjoy. The countless recollections of visits to Saline Valley and even a Wikipedia Page spoil some of the secrecy as well.

Don’t tell some of the regulars though; they still believe they have a secret spot and that is completely fine with me. Saline Valley has the quaint feeling of Disney’s Adventure Land combined with a Hippy Commune. Fact is the road does more to filter the inhabitants of Saline Valley than anything else.

The springs have been around in their current incarnation since the 1960s and have been Grandfathered into the National Park Service (NPS); meaning they wouldn’t exist under the current Bureau of Land Management (BLM) Standards and Rules. Oddly so, because the BLM is a public trust and should adhere to the standards that we the public deem acceptable. Luckily Saline Valley has not and most likely will not suffer the fate of other similar hot springs.

There is a Nudist aspect to Saline Valley and when one visits one should comply with the culture. This is another Grandfathered aspect of the Oasis and a beautifully freeing aspect that I personally hope never changes.

If the original inhabitants of the area, the Shoshone Tribe, regain their control of their land as they have proposed, they will most likely do away with the nudity. That would be environmentally and historically ignorant as the ancestors of the Shoshone people most likely bathed communally and naked while doing so. Not to mention how bad the dye in our clothing is for the environment and this fragile eco system. I’m sure this intention has something to do with the dogmatic thinking introduced by the “White-Eye” Religions and not culturally or historically accurate to the Shoshone People. I don’t remember ever hearing of Aboriginal Americans wearing bathing suits. I digress though.

There are plenty of other sources to get the directions to Saline Valley Warms Springs from and in the era of Google I expect if you REALLY want to get here you will summons the will to find a way. However, out of respect for the regulars and the many that have come before you and me, I will only say that you start by venturing into your first hot spring. To quote Miss Cybin, “We’re all on ‘The Tour.” This simply meant that when you meet up at a special place like Saline Valley it is usually because you have ventured to similar, more accessible locations first. However, the sentiment was much more poetically voiced by Miss Cybin.

Make your plans…sure… “Let’s head to the desert!” That’s what you’ll tell yourself and your friends. You have no fucking idea though. There’s a little thing that is known as “Saline Time” and that simply means what you think it means. Wow, look at the big brain on Brad! Yes, time does not matter in Saline Valley. Your watch is bullshit out there and when one speaks of time too frequently one runs the risk of being an asshole.

So if you want to devise you’re plans for the next “Burning Man” type celebration…”These are not the hot tubs you’re looking for.” Scale things down in your mind immensely. Unless you’re an asshole like the guy with the satellite antenna or who’s looking at his watch…in Saline Valley, you are completely off “The Grid”…out of “The Matrix”…Disconnected. You have the opportunity to return back to the basics.

The community operates in a state of communal organized chaos. “Structured Anarchy” one of the communist called it. Yet there is still the allure of quirky art and the inspiration that artists often draw from the desert; hence the anarchy part. 

After settling into the Crystal Tub on our first morning I told one fellow bather, “My brain was already here when my body showed up.” That’s the place one needs to be in order to truly enjoy the holistic healing powers of not only the hot springs, the valley itself.

There is so much to take in; from the random artwork, to a former Elvis Memorial (disassembled by the BLM and re-established by Phyllis and me), the wild donkeys, three separate hot spring locations, countless hikes, a labyrinth, the uniquely resilient delicate life that clings to the desert symbiotically and many other interesting sights as well.

When a really cool a freely naked man told me about “Saline Time” (whilst sitting in the Crystal Tub) …seriously… I really mean a FREELY naked man…there’s an abundance of them too. Just to warn you if that’s not your jam. It was like Harold and Kumar all over again with the “Pants-Off Party”.  He wore a hat, sunglasses and a denim shirt…just no pants; more power to him. In fact, that’s how many of the regulars roll. If you’re not down then don’t bother visiting.

This is my blog and I feel it necessary to paint an accurate picture for you. The technical rules are that nudity is only permitted within and confined to the hot tub areas. However, soon upon arrival you will find this simply isn’t the case and thank goodness this is so. Stripped of our costumes in Saline Valley one has the opportunity to really connect with others and nature; also, giving you a pathway to connect with one’s own psyche.

Anyway, pants-off party told us all about Saline Time and he was right. You end up asking yourself, “What time is it?” Oddly enough you find yourself answering yourself as if you were Winnie the Pooh…saying to yourself, “I don’t know?” and then following up with something like, “Am I hungry?” And if “yes” then it’s time to eat…and when you’re tired it’s time to sleep…etcetera. That’s how Saline Time works.

Outside of the Top Gun fly-bys (which my brother, the self proclaimed “Air Plane Nerd” thinks is totally cool) Saline Valley is paradise for me and put frankly, Saline Valley fulfills the claim of an Oasis in the truest sense of the word. I found myself lost in Saline Time and I didn’t want to leave.

In a moment of a shared expression of love for “The King” …yes, Elvis (truly speaking to the fact that the King lives) I discovered that there is an Elvis Memorial. One thing, nobody told me prior to the hike is that the BLM had ruined most of it. The mound of rocks which made the base of the memorial still exists; however, the memorabilia which had accumulated since the seventies has been long disposed of by the BLM.

Phyllis Cybin (who shares my admiration and love for the King) and I, along with her sister Gail and my brother Eric, decided to hike to the monument anyway. We made the summit just after sunset and did not have long to pay our respects. We decided to make a TCB with a lightning bolt out of rocks. That’s Taking Care of Business in a Flash for those of you unaware of that fact. Moreover, it was a famous saying of Elvis’ and something he had written on his personal jet.

So, reinventing myself; that’s what this entire mission was about. I knew there was something I needed to do differently as my struggle to maintain my passions in life is consistently challenged because of my ego and inability to just “be”. That’s right…just being; that’s my goal. Be in the moment. Take the time to listen to people and be there for people in the way that they need me to be.

During our excursion I was given that very opportunity. After coming back from the King’s Memorial we were greeted by Dano and Gary with shrimp cocktails and some delicious box wine that Phyllis brought. Dano whipped up some delicious tortellini in a tomato sauce while Gary prepared some of the best beef tenderloin that this former Chef has ever tasted. Perhaps it was the company? Perhaps it was the environment we were enjoying together? Whatever it was the experience was euphoric. In fact, dinner was only upstaged by the psilocybin laced chocolates we had for dessert.

I know that life is all about the connections that we make with each other. These experiences in Saline Valley only reinforced that notion. What I figure I need to do is a better job of cultivating and maintaining these connections. I can be such a recluse and curmudgeon at times when I’m not self regulating. In other words, I can be an asshole. I’m what one might call an asshole in recovery.

I have learned that I cannot allow bad connections with people of any sort because it hurts me too much personally. I need to make less egotistical and narcissistic decisions in my life. As a society we must lead ourselves to the rewarding feeling of engaging and accepting others as well as ourselves; in my world that begins and ends with me and my behavior.

I have not been the type of friend and partner I have wanted to be. I have not treated people well at times and all because I allowed others to dictate my behavior based on an over active and weak ego. I have been especially difficult on the one person I love the most. I told myself, “Suck it up and make and effort.” You see a sticker on vehicles from time to time, “No Bad Days” and that should be my mantra.

Life is what happens to you when you don’t take ownership of your behavior and allow others to change or dictate your actions. Life happens to you when you don’t participate and instead find excuses. It’s not just about treating others as you would like to be treated. Life is about finding out how others want to be treated and treating them the way they desire to be treated.

Here’s the thing: I profoundly now understand what my direction in life is. Saline Valley and all of its healing powers has helped give me that. I also believe that it is my duty (I said duty) to use my journalistic prowess to help preserve and protect the Saline Valley’s fragile Eco system and even more fragile culture.

Us Naturalists…Nudists…Hippies…whatever (it’s just the way I was raised); there are very few places that we can go in the United States and feel as if we are free to be ourselves and not hurt others in (ironically enough) the “Land of the Free”. There aren’t many places available to us for this sort of pleasure and self discovery. I’m not religious I consider myself spiritual though and Saline Valley is one of the religious/spiritual places like holy lands, churches or temples where I practice my brand of spirituality/religion. Many others enjoy it for the same reason, too.

Saline Valley is one of these magical places for us Hippies. I ask you, no…on behalf of the Hippies, Regulars and Pioneers who established this place and have protected its history and sanctity so that the nudity laws would be forgone due to its traditional nature…on behalf of all that and that which our freedoms stand for, I implore you, please keep your prudish asses out of the Saline Valley Warm Springs and leave it to those of us who would rather not bother anyone else.

This is a Mecca of sorts for us and a very sacred place we come to commune with nature and each other. Everyone is welcome as long as the culture is observed and respected. So, if Saline Valley sounds like your jam…come on in and enjoy…that water is perfect! Though, just remember to take only photos and leave only footprints.